Learning about Satan at Red Lobster and other anecdotes

* I talk to the TV. Recently it was towards the end of the exciting UM vs Notre Dame football game. Generally it is just when I see Senator Lindsey Graham from the lovely state of South Carolina on a news show. I talk to him A LOT. It's a little one-sided but with him, that's the way I like it.

* My Facebook status after Obama's speech to Congress: Murf is happy to see that the fine folks of South Carolina elected someone into office that obviously has Tourette's. Things like that or watching Jimmy Fallon trying hard not to crack up during the 'More Cowbell' SNL skit is why I love live television.

* Tonight, Big A was in need of getting out and where did he want to go when in need of getting out: Red Lobster! During our visit, I discovered a disturbing trend - the total number of biscuits that they are bringing out seems to equal the number of people at the table. She did go back to get more...2 more. NOW the recession is hitting home, not when Big A lost his job.

* While we were being seated at Red Lobster, we walked into an interesting and very disturbing situation. As the waitress was taking our drink order, the two black men at the table across from us began to get up. As they did so, the black family walking to their table stopped and started chatting. The man that was leaving (who I will refer to as BJ [Black Jesus] for reasons you are about to read) said hi to all the kids and to the oldest one, a girl who looked maybe about 12-14, he said "What? You're not going to give me a hug?" I was a shy girl who got that on occasion so hearing this question didn't raise any warning flags because he sounded like he was joking but then, it happened. The girl had her back to me but I could see his face and he was boring holes into her while saying "Girl, you better acknowledge me. You better say my name because if you don't, Satan will come to you. You don't want Satan to come to you so you better acknowledge me." From this comment (which actually went on for a very uncomfortably long amount of time. I was so uncomfortable with what he was saying to her that I thought about blurting out "I'm not baptized" in hopes of getting the attention away from her) and the way the father of the family was always calling him "Sir", I'm guessing that BJ is a preacher and while it seemed the girl didn't know him, the father sure did. The father then sent the rest of the family to the table while instructing his wife on what beverages to order for the younger boys as he and BJ continued to talk. Eventually the conversation turned quieter than what I could hear but not before the father said he tried calling BJ who then immediately began scrolling through his phone to see if the father was telling the truth. The father than said he had called at 4:48 and Black Jesus said, "Yes. Yes you did. I see you at 4:49" and continued to tell him about some upcoming conference. It was strange, unsettling, and riveting all at the same time. Now I know that Black Jesus is about 5'8", 130 lbs with a wrinkly linen jacket with the Members Only-type snaps on the shoulder and the worst pair of snakeskin boots I've ever seen. This year, I hope I get to see Black Santa.

* Last week was what would have been my mother's 70th birthday. That is such a strange concept because I still feel 15 and how could a 55 year old give birth to me? I then wonder what she would look like. At the end, she still had mostly brown hair with a bit of gray. I picture a bit more gray but still sporting the low ponytail and the glasses that really need to be updated. My mother was sweet, tall, thin but still curvy (although I curse the inheritance of her hips every day) and at least cute enough back in the day to get a few boys and get my father to proclaim her as his own for the rest of his life but I'm really, really glad that she wasn't what one would classify as a M.I.L.F. Having one like that must be the bane of any teenagers existence.

* Lastly, a special anecdote for TC: Right before the lunch break of a 7 Habits for Highly Effective People all day class, we were asked to just write free form. Whatever was in our head, write it down. Around this same time, the pizza, salad, and pop arrived for the lunch so my free form writing consisted of how do I get all three things in one trip? Or is it even possible? Or do I want to limit the space for pizza by foregoing the styrofoam dish and putting the salad on the plate? Do I want to just forget the salad all together and get it afterwards? So my dear TC, this is just a quick glimpse into my head. Between decisions like this and finding a continuous pattern in the small tiles of the bathroom floor, it's rarely a dull moment.