With spring here, I've seen him out and about and just a few weeks ago, he was mowing his grass but he's gotten so frail over the years that he had to take a break in the midst of doing his backyard. I spotted him sitting on his back porch, taking a break while the lawn mower was still running. It was then that I realized that he would need help with the grass too. Grass cutting is a much bigger endeavor than shoveling/snowblowing a few times over the course of the winter. I was trying to think of different options: neighbor Dan could do the front when he did his front yard and maybe we could do the back, telling Jim about our other neighbor who pays a boy $10 to do hers. During a chat with neighbor Dan, we talked about this and what we could possibly do.
This past Saturday, as we were mowing our grass and preparing for the Memorial Day gathering we were hosting the next day, we had a short chat with Jim over the fence. Thanking him again for the gift certificate and he seemed pleased that we enjoyed it so much (and thanks to happy hour specials and alumni discount cards, we made it last for quite a few visits too). As we were chatting, Neighbor Dan was helping Jim lift his lawnmower into his truck to take it somewhere to be fixed. His grass didn't seem too long so I didn't really give it much more thought.
On Tuesday, Big A and I decided to get Chinese carryout from the Pea Pod restaurant. As we were heading there to pick it up, we waved to Jim who was on his front porch, can of Pepsi in hand, wearing the usual white t-shirt, talking to Neighbor Dan. 15 minutes later, we were driving back and he was nowhere to be found but his other neighbor, a lady I've always referred to as Ryan's Mom, was mowing his front yard for him. She's a bit of a lawn nazi herself so I knew Jim's grass was in good hands.
That day was warm so we had the fans on so we missed the "excitement" that happened shortly after and didn't find out about it until the next day (although I did see the police car and fire truck drive by). After mowing his front yard, Ryan's Mom had gone around back to tell Jim she was done and she found him unresponsive in his patio chair. She screamed which Neighbor Dan's wife heard. She's a nurse so she ran over and gave Jim CPR until the 911 responders arrived. She was able to get his heart beating but over the course of the next 18 hours at the hospital, it failed twice more. The last time never to restart. He was 68.
Neighbor Dan and his wife told us about it yesterday evening. I can't say I was in shock at the time because it was obvious he was getting more and more frail but as the night wore on, I became more disturbed. I realized that at the same time I was driving by, eager to eat the yummy hot egg rolls that were in the bag, this man, who I've known for as long as I can remember, was in his backyard dying. I realize that as I write this inconsequential blog entry, someone in the world died but 9 times out of 10, it's safe to say that I don't know that person. This was the one time that I did and it has really stuck with me and really disturbs me.
Today his obituary appeared on the funeral home's website. It was interesting to read for many reasons:
- It said he was surrounded by his loving family. Where was this loving family when he needed help with things like lawn maintenance and snow removal? I know for a fact that he didn't have a very warm relationship (at least up until he was in the hospital) with his only child. The last time I saw her was when she was over about 8 years ago and nothing had changed then. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and hoped she just lived out of state and couldn't do it. Nope. She still lives about 45 minutes away.
- He had a brother that lives in the same city. Why didn't he come help him? Again, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and perhaps he is in ill health as well. I guess I will find out at the funeral if this is the case.
- He had a 'loving companion'. This companionship must have only extended to her house because I had never seen a woman anywhere near his house since I was in high school and he lived with Sharon and her snooty daughter.
6 comments:
You hit the nail on the head Murph.
Nothing like the grand daughter in "Grand Torino" who has her sights on ole gran pa's car, and lets ole gran pa know that she likes the car and would like to have it when he croaks.
Sotamies - That was a great movie. I need to watch it again. In this case, it would be Jim's 4 vintage Corvettes or his old school Impala.
At least he had good neighbors. I think in my neighborhood, one could die in the backyard and the first time anyone would notice would be marveling the dark green patch of grass early next spring. If I want to be found right away, I have to cross the street and die on the lawn nazi's lawn.
Ed - It was pure luck that someone was outside. He could have easily been inside and we would never have known..or at least until his grass got really high.
I'm still laughing over the image of you lying on the lawn nazi's grass. I can see him rolling you off of it, fluffing the grass that was laying under you and then calling 911.
Like Ed said, at least he had good neighbors. Is the funeral director the new Wendy's boy?
Nicely said.
As Ed remarks, it's nice to know that his neighbors cared. I'm sure you and the others were a comfort to him.
Post a Comment