Over before it began

This is all that I have left of my short stint in retail....
A free pen! I believe Hooch is smelling the stench of minimum wage on it. On January 21st, the eve of of when my training was to begin, I called and said that due to work conflicts, I could not work as much as they wanted so I would have to reconsider taking the job. I went on to thank them as well and then hung up. I was a bit relieved that it was only voicemail that I was talking to and hoped they checked it often in their temporary office they have established as the store is being built. Later that evening, I got a call from them saying that they would have to reschedule my orientation because not all my background checks had come through. Obviously this friendly girl had either not checked voicemail or was in a different location than the number I called so I got to give her the news to which she added only a rather understated 'Oh' before we telephonically parted ways.

This background check that they did was interesting because as the law requires, I received the same copy of the documentation and in one short sentence, using all caps and highlighted by asterisks, it said ***HIGH RISK FRAUD ALERT SEE END RPT*** Sometimes I can be a bit obtuse but as they had these 3 pages folded, the "end rpt" was blank. A few days later, I realized that some bright person did not fold it in the proper order. The comment was due to my SSN being associated with 5 various people, all of them me in some form of marital or single status, with or without a middle name or initial and even one reference to how the JC Penney store credit card department knows me. While I have yet to get my free credit report for 2008, I have checked it in the past and I know everything is on the up and up so rather than calling the company that this retailer hired to do these background checks as they had requested me to do, I just let it go which is probably why two weeks after I dumped them, they sent me a letter telling me that they couldn't hire me. I wanted to call them up and say "You can't dump me. I dumped you!" a la one of the great Seinfeld episodes.