Friends

I understand that people have different things in common with each other so when my buddy seemed to become better friends with another coworker, I figured it was that 'I've pushed an 8 pound human through my crotch' connection and was actually quite happy that I didn't have to listen to nothing but kid stories all day long (although I am often thisclose to asking her if there is anything else going on with her life) so now that I am an 'outsider', when the three of us are chit chatting during a break in work, I watch their interaction and I see how it use to be when she and I were better friends and a third person is involved in the conversation - the eye contact with the friend with only casual glances to the third person, etc. And now, both of these women are talking like the other. It's so entertaining that I've now started calling them Barbie and Skipper since it seems this coworker is always following the buddy.

When the buddy had marital issues, again the coworker was handy because while they are for different issues, there is still the feeling that home is no longer a sanctuary. They both try to do things to get out of the house (other than for work) while I proudly stated that home is my refuge which is what probably finally got me booted from the club...or it could have been my comment to her that some would say that her self-admitted emotional relationship with a man who is not her husband could be seen as being unfaithful.

It's been over 2 weeks since I've really seen or talked to the buddy despite working in semi-close proximity. I realized some things that perhaps triggered my realization that to walk across the department to say hi for that purpose only was futile. The main one was that she never asks how I'm doing or Big A. She doesn't even know what I'm taking classes for. The coworker has a bipolar husband who has been out of work for a year and has only recently been approved for long term disability. During the past 6 months or so, the family of 4 had been living on only her $30,000 income. While Big A is mentally stable and there is basically just the two of us to feed, the situation isn't that much different and yet she hasn't expressed any concern or for that matter, hasn't said or asked anything. I'm not looking for pity but a little caring would be nice or a 'Hey, how's everything going' as we are heating up our lunches but by not asking, I'm getting the feeling that she doesn't. It may come as a surprise to all of you but I can only talk for so long about myself before I realize that no one is asking me anything.

This whole thing has got me wondering about the meaning of friendship; if friendships have a natural ebb and flow to it and this one is now ebbing and another one will flow in its place. I suppose I could bring this up to her but I guess it's not that important to me either and that probably says it all.