Thursday, October 25, 2007

A PSA for the heterosexual men in the crowd

Nine Dangerous Words Women Use:

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an
hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five
more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about Nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of
Nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's Okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

10 comments:

Shan! said...

Well this was totally lost on me.

Murf said...

Shan! - I know. I guess it's a good thing that you never dated a guy who used these phrases.

Ed said...

But I on the other hand, know all these words by heart from previous trial and ERRORS!

Murf said...

Well that sounds like an interesting blog entry, Ed. Perhaps you should share with the class.

Anonymous said...

I think I'm too new to married life to know those well or just maybe I'm blessed. :)

Snakeeater said...

I just got a postcard from the hunting club about fall cleanup. My wife said "Oh, you need to go".

Yeah. Like I'm going to fall for that one...

sage said...

I think I don't need this suppliment to my dictionary--it's pretty well engrained.

maggie moran said...

You forgot, "Wait a Cotton Pickin' Minute." ;D

Kevin Stilley said...

I am a interested pupil gladly sitting at the feet of Professor Murf. I am still working on the above, but think I am ready to start on lessons 11 through 20.

sage said...

Although the meaning of these terms are deeply instilled in my mind, that doesn't mean I heed 'em when I hear 'em