Movie Review - The Sea Inside

I reviewed The Sea Inside in one of the previous versions of this blog but as with most movies that you see more than once, I've picked up new things in it after watching it again last night and thought I would review it again.

It is the real-life story of Spaniard Ramon Sampedro, who fought a 30 year campaign in favor of euthanasia and his own right to die. He became paralyzed from the neck down after diving into shallow water. His brother and sister-in-law have been taking care of him for most of those years. His sister-in-law is the one that has been in charge of his daily care. Also living in this small house is their teenage son and Ramon's father. Ramon spends his day laying in bed, looking out of the window in which he daydreams about flying over the landscape back to the ocean.

While trying to get the o.k. to die from the government, secretly he has had the plans all set thanks to the help of his friends from back in his Navy days who still came to see him often 30 years later. The only person missing was someone who would agree to get him to a place to carry this out.

I found the third viewing of this movie to be more heartbreaking the first two times I saw it. This time around, I felt the anguish of his older brother who had to cut short a career in the Navy that he loved in order to "take care of this shitty orchard" so that Ramon could be taken care of and felt that Ramon had no right to want to kill himself. I felt the weariness in the sister-in-law who did all the hands-on things that someone who is completely paralyzed can't do but yet she never once expressed her thoughts on the subject. Since she was more aware than anyone what it was like, at the end, you knew that she understood why he wanted to do it.

It was at this point where it hit home for me for the first time. With my mother, she chose not have the tumor surgically removed due to it meaning that she would need to be on a feeding tube for awhile and then a jaw reconstructed. The fact that my father had died 1.5 years before and her children were relatively young (25, 28 and 32) to have their life tied down with taking care of her played a big role in her decision. She attempted the radiation but changed her mind before the first scheduled visit and that wasn't guaranteed to do much for her anyway. The only difference between her choice and Ramon's was that Ramon had the unfortunate circumstance where it doesn't lead to death but I'm sure my mother's decision would be questioned by some as much as his was. His only option other than ending his life himself (or hiring a hit man) was to choose not to eat or drink and that's a pretty rough way to go.

In the movie, another character has a degenerative disease that will inevitably lead to her to becoming a vegetable. She originally made a pact to help Ramon but in the end, she couldn't. This could be in part to what another person in his legal counsel told her as her symptoms became worse: don't let fear make the decision. That was the only time in the movie that you see him questioning himself about what he wants: why can some people be o.k. with living like that or facing the inevitable but he wants to kill himself.

To quote Ramon: "The person who really loves me will be the one who helps me die. That's love, Rosa. That's love."

Anyone that debates that quote is someone who hasn't been in that position and for that, they should count their blessings and refrain from making topics like this or suicide in general about themselves. It's not about the happy, fully-abled friends and family who selfishly can't let them go. The greatest achievement of my life (and proudest moment) came when I was 28 when my brothers and I together gave her what she wanted which was to die at home with us being her primary caregivers other than the once a week visit from the hospice nurse. We even managed to bypass the hospital bed that was set up in the living room and had her stay in her own bed until the very end. It's a bittersweet accomplishment, I suppose.

Watch the movie and tell me what you think. Just a word of warning: It's in Spanish so unless you know the language fluently, there's subtitles.